Dear Whitney -
Hey girl, it’s your future self. I’ve written down a few
bits of wisdom I wish I could pass on to you, although I know full well that
you’d read it, snort, crumple up the paper and pitch it in the nearest trashcan.
It’s okay. Here’s one thing you should know, this is just a list of things I
long to emphasize to you as important. It’s not a list of complaints or dreams
for a do-over. I have no regrets. I can just look back 25 years and see the
things I wish you understood now. But you’re awesome, you’re loved, and you’re
going to make a difference in this world. Just know that.
1.
There’s a fine line between confidence and
cockiness. You’ve recently transitioned from having zero confidence to having a
lot. Find the middle ground.
2.
Stop using absolutes. All the “I would never…”
and “I always…” will be proven wrong. And the “Well, I would do this…” or the “I
would have done this…” are bogus. You have no idea how you would react in any
given situation until you are in it. Just because you don’t understand someone
else’s actions doesn’t mean they are incorrect. And I can guarantee you that
you will be eating those words someday. They don’t taste like chocolate,
sweetheart.
3.
It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to fail.
It’s okay to not be perfect. You never will be, not by Earthly standards. Use
these as lessons. Make your mistakes and have your failures, learn from them,
and don’t repeat them. God thinks you’re perfect and that’s all that matters.
4.
Quit worrying about what other people think. It
doesn’t matter. Really, it doesn’t. You give others too much power in your life
when you’re concerned about their take on you. And “that person” you don’t want
to be? Guess what, she’s writing you this letter.
5.
Don’t hold grudges. You don’t need to have
vengeance for every perceived wrong. Learn to let things go. Start asking
yourself, is this going to matter in a year? In a month? In a week? Most of the
time the answer is no. Learn to embrace the peace that comes from releasing
that hurt and moving on. Dwelling on these things only causes chaos and I
promise you, you don’t need more chaos.
6.
You have a strong personality. You’re a leader.
You have influence. God gave you this gift and He expects you to use it for
good. Be a positive influence. Don’t drag others down, use your gift to lift
them up. Help others to find and develop their own gifts. Foster the positive inside
them.
7.
You like for things to go your way. Who doesn’t?
Because of this innate ability to influence people you’re going to operate in
manipulation. You’re good at it. And you’re going to get to expert level. It’s
easy and it makes you feel powerful. Don’t succumb to that. One day you’ll
realize it’s much more fulfilling to use kindness and sincerity. It will warm
your heart when people choose to do something, out of love and respect, than
when they do something because you’ve tricked them. Manipulation doesn’t make
you smarter than the other person, just sneakier.
8.
Putting people down should not make you feel
better about yourself. Gossiping about people, knowing their dirty little
secrets should not make you feel superior. When these things happen you’re
letting your own insecurities get the best of you. You’re above that. It’s hard
to step out of that, I know, but try. You’ve got nothing to gain by these
actions.
9.
One of your favorite sayings is “Only God can
judge me”. That is true. But it applies to everyone on Earth. So don’t judge
others. You don’t know what they’ve been through or are going through. In 6
years, 13 years, and 25 years you’ll understand.
10.
Let’s talk about boys for a moment. You’re boy
crazy. You’re going to fall in love and you’re going to get your heartbroken.
It happens to everyone at some point. How you respond to that heartbreak makes
all the difference. Don’t put up walls. Don’t refuse to trust anymore. Don’t be
afraid to get close to anyone. There’s no contest to see how many people you
can hurt before they hurt you. And most importantly, hearts are not for
collecting.
11.
Invest in people. Your relationships will have a
tendency to be surface only. Go beyond that. Dig in, give it your all, and
invest. It’s like a relationship lottery, there’s no guaranteed return but when
it happens you’ll be rich.
12.
Stay away from the Ouija board. It’s not just a
game. Walk away from the tarot cards, the palm readings, the past life
regression, and all the other things you’ll want to use to seek the answer to
your future. They open a pipeline you want no part of. If you want to know your
future ask God to show you. He will. And it’s amazing.
13.
You’re going to start feeling a pull away from
the church. You’re going to start thinking you can’t live up to the
expectations of the people around you. That’s a lie. It’s not about more – more
faith, more works, more service, and more devotion. God has your heart and that’s
what he wants. He’ll let you know his expectations.
14.
Perfection is something you’ll struggle with. I’ve
mentioned it once in regards to holding yourself to a higher standard. You also
hold other people to a higher standard. One that is humanly impossible to meet.
Those people that you call hypocrites, well, they’re just people. They’re
trying to do their best and sometimes they’ll fail, just like you. One day you’ll
learn of the vastness of God’s grace and realize you should try extending some
grace as well. Once you fully comprehend what He’s done for you it will be easy
to the same for others.
15.
Believe in angels. They are real. They’re
surrounding you and protecting you right now. You’ve met some already you just
don’t know it. You’ll meet more in the future. And they’re pretty stinkin cool.
16.
I know you like being the “rebel”. You enjoy
standing out from the crowd, creating your own path, being different from
everyone else, bucking the status quo. You love to be anti-establishment.
Sister, that’s not going to change. You’re going to have a hard time
reconciling that part of yourself with being a Christian. Here’s the thing –
God created you that way! I’m going to write a spoiler here, in the future He’s
going to tell you this: “There’s a place and purpose for people like you in my
Kingdom. I made you this way for a reason. I have plans for you and it will
take your unique perspective to fulfill them. You just have to work with me and
not against me, then we will accomplish great things.”
17.
You are going to have hurts in your life.
Painful things will happen that leave scars. There’s a big one coming your way
sooner than I like. This is a pivotal moment in your life. DO NOT turn away
from God. Turn TO him. You won’t understand why certain things happen, you don’t
need to. You have to accept that. Here’s the important facts – God does not
cause bad things to happen to us, He has our best interests at heart, and He
wants you to turn to Him in all things but especially in your time of need.
18.
You do not have ESP. You are not a medium. You
don’t have a sixth sense. You’re not naturally good at “reading people”. What
you do have are gifts from God called discernment and prophecy. You’re not
ready for all that yet but one day it’s going to rock your world.
19.
Just like I asked you to be a good influence on
others, I ask you to have good influences in your life. Surround yourself with
people who constantly encourage you, lift you up, and help you to become the
person God wants you to be. You’ll have some of these people come into your
life and you’ll push them away because they’re “churchy” and you aren’t. Fight
against that. You don’t know what you could be missing.
20.
Honey, here’s the biggie. Someday you’re going
to get married and have a child. I swear I can hear you laughing all the way
from the future. Anyway, I know you’re saved and I know you love God but it won’t
be until you have a child of your own that you truly understand God as your
Father. When you hold that precious child in your arms and your heart swells
with so much love that all you can do is weep…well that’s when it all clicks.
That’s when you realize that God loves you like you love this child. That
nothing you do could ever turn Him away from you. That His arms are always
open, waiting for you to come home, ready for you to say Dad here I am. Once
you finally get it, I mean really get it, your life is going to change!
I checked out your Bible the other
day and you’ve done a good job choosing what to highlight. I’m going to leave
you with a list of verses I want you to really take to heart. I want you to
always remember Jesus thinks you were worth dying for. You. Were. Worth. It.
Love – Me
P.S. You’re not fat so shut up
about it.
Luke 6:37-38 (MSG) Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their
faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who
are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a
lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely
given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way.
Generosity begets generosity.
Psalms 91:4 (MSG)
His huge outstretched arms protect you— under them you’re perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
his arms fend off all harm.
Proverbs 14:29
(MSG) Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person
stockpiles stupidity.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (MSG) But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to
do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope
unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Luke 17:6 (MSG) But
the Master said, “You don’t need more faith. There is no ‘more’ or
‘less’ in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy
seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, ‘Go jump in the lake,’ and it would
do it.
Ephesians 4:31-32
(MSG) Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle
with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as
God in Christ forgave you.
1 Chronicles
16:11 (NLT) Search for the Lord and for his
strength; continually seek him.
