Get On The Boat

Let’s talk about one of my least favorite words in the English language: Obey.

I have a serious aversion to the word obey. And to the act of obedience. Honestly, just typing it makes me grumpy. I can feel the furrow between my brows getting deeper. My mother would tell you that this intolerance for obedience began early in my life. I was rarely outright disobedient, I was more of an acrobat per say. Tiptoe the line. Skirt around the edges. Meet the criteria just enough to not be in trouble but not enough to feel like I was giving in.

Rules? Those are great for other people. They don’t really apply to me.

Laws? I prefer to call them suggestions.

Boundaries? Let’s just push those a bit.

Commands? Well, good luck to trying to command me to do anything.

Before my husband and I were married we went through pre-marital counseling with our pastor at the time. We read several books, did multiple worksheets, and finally had a very long survey to fill out. The pastor compiled the information from both of our surveys and had a meeting with us to go over the results which would “predict” what areas we would have issues in during our marriage. He was a very honest and blunt man and as he looked over our results he said, “The number one issue on Whitney’s side is that she’s non-compliant.” You can imagine how that went over. I’m sure it was no shock to him when I asked to use non-traditional wedding vows because I refused to promise to obey my spouse.

Obviously, I have an issue with authority. This mindset combined with a skewed view of God made it easy to walk away from the church so many years ago. You see, I viewed God as a distant authoritarian dictator. He had a long list of do’s and don’ts and I believed my portion was based on my performance. I had no concept of a real relationship with God. I didn’t understand grace and mercy. I didn’t realize that He just wants to be with us. He just wants to communicate with us and grow us into the people He knows we can be. Once I finally understood the reality of God, of what He wants from me and for me, it was easy to decide I wanted to be part of that.

So I jumped in. I was already involved in my church but I took on more responsibility. I started praying regularly and with other people, something I had not done before. I started reading and researching my Bible. I was fired up, I was ready to go. I said, “Father, whatever you want from me, I’m willing!” Do you know what I discovered? The word obey. Everywhere I looked, there it was. In sermons, in prayers, in verses. According to one site the word obey is in the NIV version of the Bible 223 times. I repeat, 223 times! The rebellious girl, the antiestablishment one, well she started getting antsy.

Luckily, I’ve been blessed with friends and spiritual mentors who could ease my concerns. Their advice? Ask Him what to do. Specifically. In detail. Lord, give me instructions. Teach me and train me in the art of obedience.

The first thing I was instructed to do was to look up the definition of obey. Merriam-Webster lists this as the definition:

               transitive verb  

1:  to follow the commands or guidance of

2:  to conform to or comply with <obey an order> <falling objects obey the laws of physics>

Now the words that stick out to me in this definition are commands, conform, and comply. I read it several times and could feel that creeping feeling in my chest. The feeling of confinement. Being trapped. Then my Heavenly Father said to me, “Erase the word commands. All I ask is that you follow my guidance.” That sure is a lot easier to swallow, isn’t it? What a difference a word makes.

Once that shift took place, the training began. First He asked me to paint a picture for a friend. I saw the picture in my head, I knew exactly what it was supposed to say and look like. But I’m not an artist. The last time I painted was in Art 101 in college. I have nothing but a set of kid’s watercolors and some printer paper. The excuses kept coming, and He said, “Trust Me.” I went to Michael’s and bought art supplies. I researched what I needed to do to make the painting I had seen in my head. Then I sat down and painted. When I got finished, well, it wasn’t a Monet, that’s for sure. But I obeyed and I gave the painting to my friend. It was a very touching thing, she was moved by the painting and I was moved by her blessing. I painted two more pictures at my Father’s request then I was done.

After that He said He wanted me to write. Woohoo! I was all in on that one. I’ve always loved to write and I thought, “Sure, no problem.” So I started this blog. It was very exciting until I got ready to click publish on the first post. Panic hit. I’m pouring out my heart, sharing the details of my journey with God, being vulnerable on the internet and everyone can see it. All the doubt started coming in – What if everyone reads it? What if no one reads it? What if I offended someone? What if I fail miserably? Then I heard it again, “Trust me.” I’ve been writing posts ever since, as the subject matter is provided to me and I’m nudged to do so.

There have been other things along the way. Smaller things, bigger things, seemingly insignificant things. He’s asked and I’ve obeyed. It’s all part of the process.

I’ve learned that my issues with authority boil down to trust. To let someone be in a position of authority over you, you must have complete trust in them. I’ve always believed two things: First, I’m the only one that’s going to look out for my best interest, everyone else has some sort of bias. Second, don’t trust anyone completely because they will let you down. Now I think who better to look out for me than the one that created me? Who else would have my best interests at heart?

This past Sunday my pastor gave an amazing sermon and he used the analogy of a sailboat. The Word is like the sails on the boat and the Spirit is like the wind. You have to have both to go anywhere. In the middle is obedience. You have to listen, respond, and obey.

As I was thinking about that message and what it meant to me, I had a vision of the most beautiful blue waters, gently lapping against a docking area. In this vision, every day I walk down to the docks and see this magnificent sailboat. For a long time I sat there and admired the boat, wishing I could experience the joy of being out on the water. One day the captain said, “Come child, get on the boat.” I always refuse, anxious and unsure. The captain keeps approaching me, “Come child, get on the boat.”

One day I agree, I get on the boat. I feel the waves below my feet. I hear the sails catch the wind. I sense the tug of the boat against the ropes. “Untie the ropes,” he says. “I’m not ready for that,” I say. The next day he motions to me again. “Come child, get on the boat.” He’s so patient with me, I appreciate that. I know he must be ready to sail.

Another day I’m feeling powerful, feeling confident. I see the captain. “Come child, get on the boat,” he says. I smile. “I’ll be there in a second, I just need to grab my GPS, a life jacket, some flares, food for a few days, and my cellphone,” I say. He laughs and shakes his head. “You won’t need those things,” he says, “the course is plotted and the wind is strong.” I trust him. I drop everything and get on the boat. We untie the ropes and sail out onto the open waters. It is the most exhilarating thing I’ve ever experienced. I would never have had this life changing ride if I had not obeyed the captain.

I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. I struggle all the time. I’m a constant work in progress. But if God is working on something in your life, wanting you to do something for Him, wanting you to get rid of something for Him, whatever the case may be, I urge you to be obedient. Listen to what He asking. Respond in the positive. Be obedient and watch your existence change. Watch the blessings flow. And be prepared to go on the ride of your life because the reward for your obedience is beyond anything you can fathom.